I am here to place my opinion on this idea and it’s okay if you have a varying idea on the same topic. To start with, I would say “No”. I don’t believe in the idea of a soulmate. I don’t believe there is someone out there specially born for you and you are bound to meet and spend your life with them no matter what happens. I believe in the idea of compatibility though. I believe there are a lot of people out there sharing very similar ideas, habits and acts like you and once you meet them, it often feels like you have found the one.
In fact, that’s the most beautiful feeling ever, to find someone worthy of your time; to find someone who can listen to your stories without getting bored; to find someone who is ready to put up with your weirdness. But the primary question still remains unanswered,
“How do we found that person?”
Well, to clear my stance on it, let me just say that I don’t believe in “love at first sight” either. Yes, I do believe you can feel attracted to someone physically or sexually but I wouldn’t really call it love.
Okay, I will end this rant about what I don’t consider love and I will jump to the main agenda. For me, finding love is almost the same thing as finding your passion or finding your job. You can never know what works the best for you until you have found the right one. For some, it takes more time, for some, it happens the first time they try. And unless you know who you are and what you really want, you would end up wandering, looking for that special person in everyone and finding it in no one. For me, the first step towards finding a partner who loves you is finding yourself and loving yourself.
But again, that’s just the first part and any relationship is much more complicated than that. When you enter into any relationship, it opens up a new dimension for ourselves because our ego is so vulnerable when it opens up to someone else. Sometimes, this vulnerability overkills the joy that any relationship brings only because our emotions take over the idea of right and wrong. And that’s the tough spot of any relationship. Most of the relationship ends in this phase because of ego clash and there it is, we lose our interest in love and relationships and we blame love for what it is not.
Here’s the secret to overcoming this hurdle:
Just stay, stay a bit longer. I understand your ego is trying to take over every other emotion but you need to understand how relationships work. A relationship is when two people decide to involve each other in their lives and promise to get along with it. Now, these two people are two different unique beings with their own demands and choices and needs. For it to work, both of the partners need to let go of their ego and meet in the middle, the middle part where it’s no more about my needs and your needs, it’s about our collective needs and our collective choices. Of course, these choices and needs can vary for people but unless both aren’t ready to make some efforts for it, it won’t work out.
And there, I spilled it out. It’s “EFFORT”. A relationship needs a lot of effort to survive. No matter how good looking, however intelligent and however compatible you are, you are going to have rough patches in your relationship and the only it can work out is when you are ready to let go of your ego and work for the collective good.
And that’s the thing about finding your soulmate, It doesn’t matter how and where you find the love of your life, what really matters is if you are ready to make genuine efforts for them and the relationship. And it’s not very hard either. Once you deeply understand the idea of love, you would realize it’s much bigger than righteousness and ego. It’s way above that. It’s beautiful, it elevates you and changes you as a person.