True Love and Gym has a lot in common. Feeling confused?
Well, They really do! Watch this video to find out how:
You are defined by the things you love.
It sounds perfectly right, Doesn’t it? However, there is another truth we often don’t talk about.
You are also defined by the things you hate.
Take a minute to list down all the things you hate. It could be anything, be it your food choice or a habit or maybe a place. Now think of the decisions you usually make in your life.
Are those decisions highly influenced by the things you hate? Having a hard time thinking about it? I will give you an example.
Can you see a pattern here?
The things you hate plays a very important role in the decisions you make. What about love though?
It turns out that we make a lot of biased decisions in love too just as we do for hatred but hatred brings with it a lot of other negative emotions which clouds our judgment and our decision making and makes us spread the seeds of hatred far along which the world doesn’t need at all.
In my first book “How to unleash your true potential“, I had written a chapter with the title ” Love is the best example of butterfly effect”. I loved that chapter and so did a lot of people. It talks about the power of love and how even the smallest of our actions in favor of love can make this world a much better place.
Sadly, the same goes for hatred too. A single act of hatred can propagate too long to make this world a dark and scary place. Take this for an example.
You are driving to your work on a perfectly beautiful sunny morning, very excited about what’s in store for you and for your plans ahead. All of a sudden, another car brushes by your car and you nearly escape death. The driver of that car without admitting at their car shouts at you and goes rushing by. You are hardly left with any time to react and when you get back to your senses, you shout but in vain, he is long gone. What would that make you feel? It would be a suffocating, annoying and miserable place to be in. Your mood is spoiled and every person you meet on that day gets to face your wrath of negativity too and that in turn spoils the mood of every other person they meet. That creates a chain of hatred.
You see? A single instance of hatred goes a long way to make life inconvenient for so many people. This is what I meant when I said hatred is very similar to love.
If you were in that situation and I would have asked you to love that person for what they did to you and your car, you would probably find a solid reason to hate me.
Forget about love, It’s important to un-hate!
This is why this quote makes a lot of sense. You don’t have to love everyone. In fact, you don’t even have to be kind to everyone, all you need to do is un-hate them.
When you engage yourself in “Un-hate”, All you have to do is find reasons to not hate a person or a thing. You just have to see the situation from a wider perspective which would make it easier for you to do it.
And when you start doing this, you would begin to realize that your decisions, your actions would be much more fair and logical than what it used to be.
The best part of “Un-Hate” is that it hardly takes any effort. You don’t have to do anything at all, it’s simple, it’s easy and it helps you live a much better and happy life.
If you like it, Do share it with your friends and help them “Un-Hate”.
“But how can helping someone ever make me happy?”
I asked my friend who had been trying too hard to convince me that real happiness lies in giving and not taking. The idea of giving being synonymous to happiness seemed very funny to me. And why wouldn’t it? We had always been taught that it’s a competitive world out there and we must always seek to accumulate as much money, power and fame as we can. Wouldn’t giving be against this complete notion and how can it make us happy?
Now, What would a sane person do when stuck in a dilemma like this? Of course, conduct an experiment and we did the same.
Interestingly enough, We were in an engineering college and there were always chances of you meeting people in need of help. We found one immediately, a fresher trying to shift his luggage into his room from the corridor but struggling to do so. We went up to him and asked if he needs any help with it. He accepted gracefully and we went on to do the needful. It was weird at first for me and I am sure it was for him as well. (Since Arbitrary act of kindness is something we don’t see very often.)
After a bit of introspection, We concluded that my friend was actually right. It did make me feel happy, it did make me feel special about myself.
Why and How?
I was yet to discover that. But it surely gave me a start, a meaning I had been looking for.
Before that incident, I had always been longing to find a goal for myself or a vision which I can stick to but could never succeed in finding one. I used to do a lot of things which I was moderately good at but nothing really clicked. I had never felt any spark or an esctasy that would make me feel so proud of myself until that day.
But what really made me feel so happy?
It was my usefulness in the world. And the moment I found out that I can be useful to someone in a way I could have never imagined, It made me happy in ways I couldn’t explain. There must be something that I had been missing or unaware of but that day opened up so many doors for me.
Our brain is a sucker for dopamine, the more it gets, the more it needs.
For me, that day was the start of an endless pursuit towards understanding the actual meaning of helping people out. It gave me that dopamine kick and I started doing more of it, started talking to a lot more people, helping them in ways they would want and that taught me a lot about human behavior, patterns, and decisions. It was startling for me at first but I found that almost all of human behaviors are interlinked and we can make better decisions if we knew about the ways we think. The biggest issue with people struggling to understand and accept others originates from people struggling to understand themselves. A lot of people are clueless about who they are and why do they act in a certain way and that becomes a sure shot remedy for misery. To help people understand that, I went on to write my two books on self-help, “How to unleash your true potential” and “Finding the Magic in You” so that it reaches a larger audience and helps them out.
To summarize it in a few sentences, it all comes down to one important fact,
Giving doesn’t make you empty, it makes you full.
It makes you full of lessons, gratitude, and blessings of the order that you cannot even imagine.
How? Because it makes you realize you are surrounded by countless stories all around you other than yours, some of which are happier and some brutal. Only when we take that leap out from our story to observe the various other stories, we would realize how petty our miseries were. It would make us feel special about the story we are in, and help others who are in need of it.
Because, in the end, every story converges towards the same beautiful ending. It’s in our hand to decide how the rest of it goes.