You are defined by the things you love.

It sounds perfectly right, Doesn’t it? However, there is another truth we often don’t talk about.

You are also defined by the things you hate.


Take a minute to list down all the things you hate. It could be anything, be it your food choice or a habit or maybe a place. Now think of the decisions you usually make in your life.

Are those decisions highly influenced by the things you hate? Having a hard time thinking about it? I will give you an example.

  • If you hate Chinese food, your decision about finding a perfect dinner restaurant would always rule out all the Chinese┬árestaurants in the vicinity.
  • If you hate to listen to Heavy Metal Music, You would always avoid going to clubs playing the same.
  • If you hate an actor, you would always avoid watching their movie.
  • If you hate a person, you would always avoid going out with them.
  • If you hate an emotion, You would always try to suppress it in public or in person.
  • And If you hate yourself, you would always end up hating others.

Can you see a pattern here?

The things you hate plays a very important role in the decisions you make. What about love though?

It turns out that we make a lot of biased decisions in love too just as we do for hatred but hatred brings with it a lot of other negative emotions which clouds our judgment and our decision making and makes us spread the seeds of hatred far along which the world doesn’t need at all.

In my first book “How to unleash your true potential“, I had written a chapter with the title ” Love is the best example of butterfly effect”. I loved that chapter and so did a lot of people. It talks about the power of love and how even the smallest of our actions in favor of love can make this world a much better place.

Sadly, the same goes for hatred too. A single act of hatred can propagate too long to make this world a dark and scary place. Take this for an example.

You are driving to your work on a perfectly beautiful sunny morning, very excited about what’s in store for you and for your plans ahead. All of a sudden, another car brushes by your car and you nearly escape death. The driver of that car without admitting at their car shouts at you and goes rushing by. You are hardly left with any time to react and when you get back to your senses, you shout but in vain, he is long gone. What would that make you feel? It would be a suffocating, annoying and miserable place to be in. Your mood┬áis spoiled and every person you meet on that day gets to face your wrath of negativity too and that in turn spoils the mood of every other person they meet. That creates a chain of hatred.

You see? A single instance of hatred goes a long way to make life inconvenient for so many people. This is what I meant when I said hatred is very similar to love.

If you were in that situation and I would have asked you to love that person for what they did to you and your car, you would probably find a solid reason to hate me.

Forget about love, It’s important to un-hate!

This is why this quote makes a lot of sense. You don’t have to love everyone. In fact, you don’t even have to be kind to everyone, all you need to do is un-hate them.

When you engage yourself in “Un-hate”, All you have to do is find reasons to not hate a person or a thing. You just have to see the situation from a wider perspective which would make it easier for you to do it.

And when you start doing this, you would begin to realize that your decisions, your actions would be much more fair and logical than what it used to be.

The best part of “Un-Hate” is that it hardly takes any effort. You don’t have to do anything at all, it’s simple, it’s easy and it helps you live a much better and happy life.

If you like it, Do share it with your friends and help them “Un-Hate”.